There was a first yesterday in the household….my 13 year old son was involved in his first school fight. As a result, he was suspended from school for three days and I am now left with creative projects for him to do around the house as punishment for his evil-doing.
The initial results of all of this teenage drama are that a) he is suspended for three days, b) he must appear in “teen court” to be tried by a jury of his peers c) carry out his mandatory community service hours. If he does all this-correction, if his father and I make sure he does all this, all will be forgiven when he turns 18.
But I am frustrated, only mildly of course, but this is another example of the pussification of America. Yes, there I said it. I could be more politically correct but have I ever tried to be an example of correctness.
Why is it such a terrible thing to allow kids to determine their own hierarchy among their peer groups?What is so terribly wrong with dishing out the occasional ass whooping to keep others in line? The impetus of the fight was this-son worn skinny jeans to school, you’re jeans are gay. Well your mom is gay. Don’t talk about my mom. Your mom is so gay….and the melee ensued. Did my son breach the unspoken rule of insulting someone’s mother? Yes. Was he provoked? Yes, see skinny jean comment. Did my son learn a valuable lesson regarding insulting a friend’s mother? Yes. What bothers me is that the school views this as such a significant event that two kids get suspended for 3 days, the school resource officer has to file a report, blah, blah, blah. Zero tolerance for fighting.
We have taught our children to not be a victim. Don’t go looking for fights but if you’re pressed into a situation, stand, defend and fight. Some of you hand wringers out there are saying “but little Billy should tell another adult and let the adults handle it, violence should never be a solution….” Yet another example of letting the bigger entity protect you instead of protecting yourself. In my experience, when you establish yourself as someone who doesn’t take any crap from anyone, people, as a general rule, won’t mess with you. And yes, this sometimes takes a physical smack down to set those boundaries. I see this establishment of boundaries a lot in the middle school when kids are maturing and emotional control is nonexistent.
I’m done, this has been harder to write than I figured it would and not my best effort. Maybe I’m trying too hard to not say what’s really on my mind so I will stop now. But one last thing, when you stand up for yourself, you don’t have to rely on anyone else.