Thanksgiving Week

Let’s share recipes shall we.  Please keep your comments to yourself, not everything in my world is sarcasm and witty banter.  Some of you know I actually can cook and those of you that know my mother know that I have only two more days to perfect everything;).

My portion of the dinner menu is two smoked turkey breasts, cornbread dressing, carrots, acorn squash, deviled eggs and sweet potatoes.

Cornbread Dressing

On Tuesday, that’s tomorrow for those that lost track of time, cook the cornbread.  Using Martha White self-rising cornmeal, follow the instructions on the back.  Substitute cooking oil/vegetable oil with bacon drippings.  If need be, cook a package of regular pork bacon, not maple bacon, not turkey bacon, just straight up pork bacon.  Save the drippings.  Also, when making the cornbread for the dressing I use buttermilk instead of regular (sweet) milk.  It gives the cornbread a slightly dryer consistency.  I suppose it doesn’t matter but I cook my cornbread in a cast iron skillet.  Before all of you panic, my cast iron is cleaned with soap and water after every use.  When the cornbread is done, allow to cool and wrap in plastic wrap or aluminum foil..

On Wednesday (because in my family, we’re big believers in pacing ourselves when cooking for 30 and feeding 6), in frying pan (insert snarky comment here) fry a package of sage sausage with a cup of chopped celery and a whole medium onion, diced (if your family couldn’t stand the thought of having onions in anything, onions must be chopped into tiny, microscopic pieces).  While sausage, onion and celery mixture is cooking….in the cast iron skillet…..take the cornbread dressing and start breaking it into small pieces, in the largest bowl you can find.  Because you are about to make one helluva mess.  When you’re breaking the cornbread up imagine you’re grinding it back into a meal consistency.  By this time, your sausage mixture should be done and your spouse should be claiming, in hushed undertones, that you are making a massive mess.  Drain the excess grease off your sausage mixture and pour into cornbread. Add a pinch of additional sage seasoning. Add about half a can of chicken broth and mix it all together, I find easier to use my hands.  Continue adding chicken broth until you have a paste like mixture.  The wetter the better since you’ll be placing it in a casserole dish and baking it.  Most of the moisture evaporates off and nothing ruins  that Thanksgiving meal like dry dressing.

Sweet potatoes

If you’re looking for a recipe for yams, please find the new yankee recipe blog and hook up with her.  Down here we only cook sweet potatoes with lots of brown sugar.

On Wednesday, cook your sweet potatoes.  After they’ve cooled (because 2nd degree burns on Thanksgiving Eve just ruins this Southern Living Thanksgiving), peel the skin away.  Combine them in a bowl that your husband dutifully cleaned while the potatoes were baking and after you destroyed the kitchen making the dressing.  Add one egg, a quarter cup of sugar, half a cup of brown sugar.  So much for the health benefits of the sweet potato.  Mix with an electric beater and place in a casserole dish.  For the topping, some like the marshmellows, but I have an alternative.  Combine a large handful of pecan, crush them to a coarse consistency.  Combine them in a bowl with soften butter, brown sugar and a little flour.  Spread it over the top of the sweet potatoes.

Deviled Egg

Boil half a dozen eggs.  If you don’t know how to boil eggs, lets work on this here for a moment.  Bring those eggs to a roiling boil for about 7-10 minutes, turn the burner off and leave them there to cook for a while.  When you can easily reach in without scalding yourself, the eggs should be done.  Peel the eggs, cut them length wise, put the whites aside from the yolks.  Combine the yolks together with a little mayonnaise, mustard, relish.  Use the mayo sparingly until you get the consistency you want.  The mustard is for color, the relish adds a bit of sweetness.  Sprinkle some paprika over the top for garnish (or the colorful seasoning of your choice-proceed at your own risk).

Yes, I know, I’ll be up for a Pulitzer with this blog post, at the very least a nod from Southern Living for next year’s  holiday edition.  Because you know, we’re cloaked in Southern redneck style around here.  Since the fun begins tomorrow, I might just video all this fun and post it here for your entertainment.



As the mind wanders…..

I was reminded, ever so subtly, that I had not updated my blog in nearly a month, and that I needed to get on the ball because I had people checking daily for pithy, snarky commentary on the events of the day.  So let’s rehash what has happened in the last month.

In a word….nothing.  Oh yeah, there was that election nonsense and all where Democrat friends yelled “na na boo boo” and what not, but I just as soon leave political commentary alone.  It makes for a lonely bedfellow, and I like my friends just the way they are, not red, not blue, just there.  

I did finally leave my nursing job so I could embark on this writing quest in peace, without the ten phone calls a day asking for one thing or another.  Its only been a week and a half so far, but I’m steadily increasing my output. I’m writing a few blog posts here and there and grinding through my content mill work for pay (that was a hint that if anyone needs some writing done, I’m here, waving my arms, drawing attention to myself).

Each Friday night for the last few weeks I meet my friend and her family underneath the big oak tree at the ball park to discuss one thing or another, cheer on her son, then cheer on my son in the merciless boredom that is 14 and under baseball.  Oh my gosh, as much as I love my son and love watching him play baseball, it is so damn boring that the conversations (see earlier blog posts) deteriorate much faster.  Last Friday night we were reminded, yet again, that its 10 degrees colder at the ballpark.  The temperature was only slightly below 60 degrees but the humidity sank in to our bones feeling more like 40 degrees.

My daughter played her first non high school golf match in Ponte Vedra at the Ponte Vedra Inn and Club.  Those rich people make our rich people up here look poor.  Not that I have any problem with that.  Despite her dreadful scores, developing a case of strep throat like symptoms, and generally typical behavior of a 17 year old, I saw a great deal of promise.  

My husband finally finished the classic car he’s been working on for years.  The Chevelle is now finished and will be headed to the Turkey Rod Run in Daytona.  We’ll just leave it at that.  Maybe a later blog post will reveal why I’m being sly.

My mother forgot the time change last week.  She asked if I would like to go to Jacksonville with her, went to the office at the discussed time.  I asked my stepfather where she was, she had left an hour earlier to go to her doctors appointment.  She called later, I answered her call with “Alzheimer’s hotline, how may we help you remember”.  Just a little humor added to my day.

I still haven’t cleaned off the desk.  In this paperless society, we have more paper and crap floating around than before the digital age…..fml.  I’ll get to it eventually.

So I just don’t have much to say.  My apologies to my loyal followers.  I promise I’ll get with the program and offer up more interesting drivel in the next few days.  But oh wait, Thanksgiving is coming and that always offers some humor and insanity courtesy of my mother.  I’ll be stuffing that turkey with some Prozac that’s for sure!